Nostalgia helps identify important connections and chose the life narrative that defines us.

Often nostalgia is connected to missing someone or something. It is a powerful memory because we absorbed the emotion of the event at the time it happened, and it affected us deeply. We carry the feelings of the emotion with us and each time we look back we find those feelings.

Nostalgic feelings help us understand ourselves because life is best understood looking backwards. We re-invent ourselves when we re-look at our past and the events that happened and it is those events that evoke strong feelings that we find first and become our life plot points when we look back.

Each time I think back over my life story, I rethink what happened and draw new conclusions. “How you arrange the plot points of your life into narrative shapes who you are and is a fundamental part of being human.” This is the subtitle in an interesting article titled Life’s Stories, published in The Atlantic in 2015. In that article, Monisha Pasupathi, a professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah, offered much insight on this subject. She stated: “In order to have relationships, we’ve all had to tell little pieces of our story.”

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Soren Kierkegaard

Thoughts Lead to Words and then on to destiny which will be your story →

What is your story? It is, of course, a collection of words that you have chosen as you have considered past events. The choices you make often connect and create a message or conclusion.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” ― Lao Tzu

The fact is your story changes each time you consider it. Take a look at this post:

Do we really adopt the mannerisms, the attitudes, and even the conduct of those whom we admire? →

Research suggests that in social situations, we tend to unconsciously imitate the people around us in a phenomenon researchers have termed the chameleon effect.

Thomas Monson, the last President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, was a lover of literature. He said of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic account, The Great Stone Face, "we adopt the mannerisms, the attitudes, even the conduct of those whom we admire — and they are usually our friends." So who are our friends?

For many of us our friends are the authors, and even the characters, in the books we read. Does this mean that we read to find friends? Do the friends we find through books influence us more or less that our day to day human friends?

In Harold Bloom's book, How to Read and Why, he answers the question his own book raises by saying "we read because it matters". An important reason among many for why it matters is because our friends have a lot of influence over us.

Hawthorne's book gives us even more insight into why it matters. It changes us. It also suggests that we can change who we are with changes in what we read. Picking good authors is important.

Click on How to Read book or words to see that prior review

Automation is coming: What should you do? →

Automation is coming. Invest in yourself. Polish and learn new skills. Stay current in your field. Good advice but will automation really replace workers or just shift most of them?

The World Economic Forum predicts that automation will displace 85 million global jobs by 2025. The shift to remote work could be an even bigger driver of job displacement in the near term.

But the research arm of McKinsey & Company suggests that the near-term impact of automation will be to redefine jobs rather than to eliminate them.

McKinsey predicts that of the 49.1 million who will have their jobs displaced by automation, 32 million will stay in the same occupation, and another 2.2 million will stay in the same occupational category. The number of people who will lose their jobs in the “have to find a new line of work” sense is only 14.9 million. Not 27 percent, but 9 percent.

Volunteering Matters because all work matters →

All work matters because all sides to the work done gain from the work. Participants learn new skills, meet new contacts, and help get things done that may not have gotten done without volunteers helping.

It is usually unknown who exactly will be showing up to volunteer on a project and those doing the work also often meet new people from a variety of life backgrounds. The connections you make with coworkers, suppliers, recipients, and organizations can make a difference to you long after the work is done.

When you know you have made a difference you feel better about yourself. It is important to take pride in your volunteer work and do your best work.

Those receiving the benefit of the work done are lifted up improving their own lives. Volunteering, working side by side with others, connects you to other human beings. When you volunteer, you are making connections. Paid for your time or not, always do you best in your work. It matters.

Find yourself out by asking who you are? →

. RSS

In order to uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story. This points us towards ourselves because it is our history and experiences that hold the answers.

If you don't know who you truly are, you'll never know what you really want.

This requires that you are brave enough to explore your past because it is an important stepping stone on the road to understanding ourselves and becoming who we want to be.

It isn’t just the things that happened to us that define who we become, but how much we’ve made sense of and our conclusions about what’s happened to us. Unresolved traumas from our history inform the ways we act today. Studies have shown that life story coherence results in a “statistically significant relationship to psychological well-being.”

If we have a “coherent narrative” of our lives, the better able we are to make mindful, conscious decisions in our present that represent our true selves.

Find yourself out by asking who you are

“Do not let the roles you play in life make you forget who you are.”

Each day that passes adds to the image you see when you want to find out who you really are. Your goal should be to be able to find the real person in the mirror. Let reality reflect back but then recognize that it is good.

PS: Maybe the tiger thinks he is a kitten starring out from where he is?

It won't get done on a "To Do list": Use a Calender Instead →

. RSS

Which is the most essential tool to help you get the most done? A calendar or a to-do list?

Regarding task completion, the significant difference between a calendar and a to-do list is that the calendar accounts for time. Even minutes can be scheduled - 15-minute segments or 30 minutes. Time is precious, and a calendar will help maximize your time results.

You're forced to work within the constraints of the 24 hours that you have. Also, since there are only 24 hours a day, it reduces the paradox of choice. If you don’t get it done on the day it needs to be done, the calendar approach forces you to pick a new time.

If you can't find a place on the calendar to work on something, it will never get done by putting it on a list. The conclusion is clear: skip the to-do list, use your calendar, and break the calendar down to the most minor section of time.

Be the person in the mirror →

Your self-image is a mental picture of yourself, both as a physical body and an individual. When you think about yourself, the feelings and images that come up are important. A healthy body image means that you see yourself as you really are and that you feel good in your own skin.

In the case of the young lion cub perhaps he sees his own potential.

A life story stitched, wrapped up, and folded into a memory quilt. →

I had a friend cut the cloth items in the chest into small pieces in various shapes and used something from all of the pieces. They were sewed into a large rectangle and then I had a lining put in and had them made into a quilt.

Being able to remember some of original items the quilt speaks to me. The pieces I knew nothing about have their own message. The finished quilt now is an important keepsake.

The best life story or scrapbook sometimes doesn’t come in spoken words and in this example the story came out of a cedarchest. These type of chests have been referred to as a hope chest, also called dowry chest, hope chest or, trousseau chest. There purpoe was in some casses to serve as a piece of furniture traditionally used by unmarried young women to collect items, such as clothing and household linen, in anticipation of married life.

One of the greatest benefits of a cedar chest is that cedar wood serves as a natural deterrent against moths and other pests.

“Be Yourself”, because that is all you have →

By knowing and being yourself, you are better able to acknowledge things that you do not know well enough. You won't be too proud to ask questions because you have nothing to hide. Those you work with know the real you and because they do they consider you to be genuine.

The most important thing you need to know to truly be genuine is to know your real self.

People will respect your ability and your eagerness to pick their brains won’t be a threat to them.

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” – John Wooden

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” - Oscar Wilde

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss

Looking for the best way to communicate: Use Your Voice →

The best form of communication is face to face for building rapport, trust-building, giving a compliment and being remembered. Our words can be expressed more clearly. In a conversation we are able to better use all the information that comes in through all five senses. In text and email we don't have any of the emotional, nonverbal components of communication and without it you are likely to try to fill in the blanks with what you think was meant

Know Your Own Story and Present it so Others Can Understand it. →

YOUR LINKEDIN PROFILE AND RESUME TELL YOUR STORY. When you put them together they identify your central theme that is conveyed. The LinkedIn profile helps jobs find you, and the resume is what you use when you find the right jobs to show you fit.

People who are driven to contribute to society are more likely to tell stories about their lives that transition in positive ways. Show your history to be relevant to your goals. Your narrative is your choice and only you can show how experiences connect with the path that you have taken. We can edit, revise and interpret the stories we tell about our lives.

Don’t talk about the mistakes, talk about the meaningful things you learned.

Is saying that you should teach your children to pray really a bold and audacious statement? →

When I was about 4 years old my mother would have me kneel at my bedside and say my prayers. The importance of that part of my life story has changed and I have seen it differently over the years.  I still value that experience and I am grateful for it.

Looking back over the years I can see that this early assumption and evidence that God was listening and that I could take problems to him was helpful and important. I have never forgotten those prayers for small things that I knew were answered.

Others have shared how they were taught similar lessons a very young age by saying a prayer many are familiar with: “Now I lay me down to sleep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” I have thought about this over the years, asking myself these questions: if a person dies and his soul is taken then what exactly that is taken?

If the soul is eternal and lives on when the body dies, then it must be made of different materials. If that substance is spiritual, then where does it reside within our living bodies?  Is it separate or part of our living flesh? Some have referred to the soul as the seat or location of our character and emotions.

The soul is sometimes explained as the spirit within a person as the persons mental abilities, character, feelings, memories, perception, thinking, and even skills. If wherever our soul goes at death our particular skills are not needed, then perhaps our work ethic learned in obtaining those skills are part of the package.

Whatever it is that is going to go with me, if I die before I wake, I want to understand as much about it as possible and make sure it is worth taking along.

Louis Armstrong said that musicians “never retire until the music runs out” and “What we play is life”. For Armstrong his music was his passion but he is suggesting that it can die before the body dies. What then is that metaphorical music that is our life and if you are a not a musician what is it? How did that music or passion, get to be inside us?

Armstrong seems to be saying that he needs the music to apply his work ethic too, but this leaves the question as to what my own music is? My conclusion is that my music, passion and what makes me feel alive, is family, reading, writing and service but they have grown and changed, and I can clearly see that as I look back over my life story.

Music can be a connection between our physical self and our very souls. We feel the music. It reflects our heart. Music with scriptures are hymns and we worship through hymns. The feelings of our heart are conveyed in prayer. Our bodies and faces reflect the images of happiness and sadness. Music and even singing opens those feelings. Sometimes we sing for what we long for using music to help us get by without the things wanted.

Our passions might be our music. What do we long for? What do we have a passion for? Love and kindness are passions that can focuses and drive us for what we want. We lose ourselves in those feelings and, for some, opportunities for service to others reflects their hearts.  When our useful passions fill our minds, we have little place for worrying about ourselves.

In the play, Cats, the cats all audition for the opportunity to go back and have another life and tell us why in the song "Memory" telling us “They had the experience but missed the meaning”. They had lived once, their music had run out, and wanted another chance

For us, what we play, rather than music, can be just whatever it is that we love. It can be anything we chose, but then we need to feel passionate about it. If you’re lucky enough to love knowledge, learning, or service, then your indeed blessed. That, like the music for Louis, just never stops being an option.

The Future Depends on What You Do Today

“The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi. So what is the most important thing that we could do? “Mother Theresa said if everyone swept in front of their house then the end result would be a clean world.” Clean up where you live. Make personal improvements each day.

What is your greatest weakness?

What do you say when your asked about your greatest weaknesses? Remember that every weakness should be one that, within a professional setting, you learned from. Maybe you talk too much, so you explain that you carry a notepad and take notes to ensure you listen. (go ahead, write that down)

Proper Tie Length Matters →

Should you wear a tie to a job interview? Often the answer is YES, but you would want to wear appropriate clothing for where you are applying because the number of employers where ties are expected has gone down.

If you do wear a tie, then wear it correctly, just touching the belt.

Would you hire someone who is wearing a tie too long or even worse too short to meet the public? Why would you wear it wrong anyway?

Smiles Matter →

YOUR SECRET WEAPON is your smile. DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET

Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you. If your looking for a job and your one of the top two best candidates and one who takes the time to smile and everything else is equal - guess who gets the job?

Does ranking your research miss the point? →

I read a list of America's top 10 chain restaurants in the Chicago Tribune and asked myself what was the real point of the ranking? 

The article gave an overview of what it had determined were the 10 of the biggest chains but the reviewer then jumped to the conclusion that only 2 maybe 3 were worth eating at? The stated purpose for the ranking was intended to identify the 10 biggest chains, and then which was best, but big doesn't always mean good. If the reviewer must have used reported sales data to rank for size but no criteria for what determined “good would be” was included.

The same article ranked the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain as #1 for being good but it was recently ranked #35 in size so apparently sales ranking isn’t consistent. (How do you compare a good Cracker Barrel meal to a good McDonalds meal by the way?)

Another article ranked McDonalds as the best restaurant chain? The definition of “best” was not explained but Chicago Tribune didn’t even discuss why they thought Cracker Barrel was the best “good” restaurant?

Adding to the confusion another article showed that one of Cracker Barrel's most popular and raved-about dishes is a “simple, timeless classic”: the Macaroni n' Cheese. It would seem that this dish would have to had some role in the Chicago articles conclusions, and maybe it did, but really what is best when it comes to Macaroni n’ Cheese dishes? No survey would capture all the concepts for this dish for a ranking.

Conclusion: Be wary of rankings