Much of what I recall from 1966 is pleasant but some things seem very different now

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Much of what I recall from 1966 is pleasant. I was married that year and my second year was at Idaho State University.  I had spent my entire life in Idaho and had a little experience that would have helped me understand everything happening.

At the beginning of American military involvement in 1964, fewer than 50 percent of Americans had ever heard of Vietnam. The Vietnam War and civil rights protests were on TV every night. Guys I had gone to school with were going to war.  By 1966, some were coming back, reenlisting, and going back again, thinking they had to see some action before the war ended; some didn't come back. The ugly view of the war was something that we got first-hand reports on when the guys we had gone to school with returned.

Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream “ speech occurred in August 1963, and things worsened. The issue of civil rights was one that, as far as first-hand experiences, for us in that part of the country, were not the same. It wasn’t clear to some of us why the blacks lived in one part of town; to some degree, it seemed like it was just where they wanted to be. The only prejudice we heard was primarily from our parents’ generation.

When I attended Pocatello High School, the Student Body President was Marvin Brown. He was an African American. He was very popular and well-liked, which is what you heard about him. You didn’t hear much from the students about race. In September 1962, Marvin was killed in a car accident.  He would have gone to Harvard in another few weeks with his scholarship.  We were all saddened by the event. Things were very different in Southeastern Idaho than you saw on the news in the next few years.

Why were our lives then sheltered and not in the direct line of fire for all these problems?  Why didn’t we understand it more then? Does the fact that we didn’t understand it then mean we didn’t come to the same conclusions that many who were in the middle of it did, at least eventually? We thought we understood what the Civil Rights movement was at the time.  We knew about what was happening, but we didn't have experience. It seemed incredible that there even was such a difference in the treatment of people in our country.

Some may feel that it was "just the luck of the draw" for us in that part of the country.  By that, I mean that some people believe that we don't make many choices in our lives and are all just with the circumstances given. They feel that choices and thinking about things result from how we were "wired,” where we were born, or who our parents are. Our genetics and circumstances are felt to have programmed us and dictated how we choose.  Even today, a popular point of view is that free will is an illusion.  I’m afraid I have to disagree with this point of view. If I didn't have the experience back in 1966 to understand what was happening then, I have had more than enough time to ponder it since then, and I have—looking back and seeing my lack of experience has compelled me to look harder than others may have.

Experience, when added to knowledge, is better than either one alone in searching for wisdom.  The search also requires deciding how to connect the events in our lives.   It can take some time for things to seem transparent.

One experience I did have surprised me. I am still trying to understand what it taught me, but I think part of the answer is to help me understand more about kindness.

At about the same time as all the things that were so troubling in the country, an unexpected thing happened to me. At the University, we would go to the student union between classes, meet with friends, and talk.  I made a new friend in one of my classes. He was an exchange student from a country in Africa. He was black, brilliant, and seemed to have a different take on things.  Sitting and talking with him was something I looked forward to each day.  I am not saying we were best friends, but several months went by, and our routine was solid. 

One day, while we sat together talking, he changed the subject and told me he didn’t want to be my friend anymore and would get up and leave. I was shocked and asked why. He said it was obvious to him that I only wanted to be friends with him because he was an exchange student from Africa and not just an American Black. (Even now, I wouldn't use the word that then was used for Blacks). He said that with how the American people felt about and treated the American Blacks, it was clear to him that I must be no different. He added that this was his conclusion, which he felt was apparent. He said all I had to do was watch the news to see if it was true.  He left, and the friendship ended.

There is no good ending to this story. I was shocked. I didn’t understand how I was to blame.  I felt offended. How could I be so naive?  Here is a case where I had experience before I knew. 

We need to find ways to let others know we care about them. I would rather be misjudged or criticized for caring for others than guilty of not caring.

Knowledge tells me that we should care about people. Experience tells me that it can be one-sided at times. Wisdom tells me that caring and kindness matter.

Bottle Fishing on the Banks of the Portenuf River

By Brent M. Jones

As a young boy, in the the1950s, I walked barefoot in the moss and mud on the banks of the Portneuf River, a tributary of the large, better-known Snake River, in Southeastern Idaho. The river was lined on both sides, with trees and bushes overhanging the banks. Big Oaks, Maple trees, Goldenraintee, Hawthorne Birchc,h and Dogwood trees. The trees stood with willows and bushes thick at their sides. Occasional lilac bushes brought their deep blue to the natural cover.

Our family’s home sat right on the bank of the river, and with the open window, my upstairs bedroom brought the sound of the flowing water, birds, and various river sounds. Large Oak trees rose from the bank below, and the leaves from the upper branches would brush the house and window with the movement of the wind.

Winter by the River

With the leaves gone and the water lowered, everything changed. The ice layered up the banks, and, in some places, only ice could be seen.  Often the branches of the willows and trees were covered with white crystal-like coverings.  Some would ice skate, but this was something I was fearful of doing.

Summers by the River

The water was higher than in the winter with all the runoff from the snow-topped mountains that feed the river. My Huckleberry Finn experience included rafts built from trees and fishing as we would float downstream. Our house was in the middle of a residential section near the town of Pocatello, but going downstream on a raft, with the tree and bush-lined banks, was like being in another world.

Fishing from the raft was done with a traditional fishing pole, but fishing from the shore, mostly in my back yard, was different. Instead of a pint or quart glass bottle, no bars or hooks were used. My mother used the same Kerr brand bottles, referred to as Mason Jars, to bottle raspberries, peaches, cherries, and other items, by sealing them in a boiling kettle bath.  Raspberries were my favorite.

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An empty bottle, strong string, lid, knife and some bread was all that was needed. The string, usually six feet long, had one end tied and fasted around the lid.  Using the knife, a hole could be pressed in the middle of the flat metal lid creating a punctured X and then pressing the X to open so that 4 sharp sections of the lid depressed into the bottle.  At this point a few bread pieces would be put in the bottom of the bottle before the lid was added. The bread pieces needed to be big enough so when the bottle was filled with water that they wouldn’t float up through the opening in the lid.

With the bottle secured by the long string, doubled up strong enough to hold the bottle full of water with some pressure, the filled bottle was then just tossed off shore into the river under some overhanging branches or close to a large rock.  

This type of fishing was not complicated, and we would wait at least ten minutes, maybe even an hour, but when the bottle was pulled back to shore it almost always had some small minnows in it.

The small fish could be used for bait on a hook with a fishing pole, especially if a trip to the Snake River was coming up, or they could be sold for bait just like worms could. The small fish were also an option for more riverbank activity.  Mud and rocks could be used for making a little pond on the bank of the river to hold the small fish. Of course, just letting the fish go was the best option and that happened sometimes.

When a fish pool was created and loaded up with fish the next step was to move back away and hide or even leave and come back in an hour or so. Sooner or later a snake would find this little pool and go in and eat the fish. With good timing the snake could then be caught.

What to do with a live snake was a little more of a challenge. Several attempts to keep the snake in a cardboard box under the front porch failed when they just disappeared? I always hoped they wouldn’t find a way into the house if they got away.

Leaving the River behind

Our family eventually moved to a traditional neighborhood on the other side of town to live in a new house, but there was no river nearby.  A couple of years after we moved something terrible happened to the River.  Spring runoff was higher than it had been in years and all along the river, as it ran through the town, the neighborhoods were flooded.  The town brought the Army Core of Engineers in to evaluate the situation and they decided to make a cement ditch of the river its entire length as it twisted and turned through the town.

A river in a cement ditch is not a river! The bank had no trees or bushes. It was just a sterile ugly ditch. Any path to revisiting my Huckleberry Finn days and my youth were just eliminated by bureaucrats and a town happy to take some federal money.

I went back to where I had spent much of my youth after this happened. I waited a long time before I ever went back again.

John Steinbeck said: “You can’t go home again because home has ceased to exist in the mothballs of memory. Maybe he was right, but my memory is a lot better than the reality today of where home was. It just points to the fact that there is no sense looking back. We just get up and press forward.

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Find your Path Forward by Looking Back

By Brent M. Jones

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Stories of outstanding leaders, who look back at their own lives and tell of how their success came because of the trials and setbacks they had in life, are not uncommon. They didn't see the value of the problems when they occurred but only after years of rethinking the events. The self-acceptance of their challenges followed years later.

Previously I wrote an article titled “As You Look at Your Own Life Story You See Yourself Differently,” which included background research from Julie Beck's Atlantic Magazine’s 2015 article titled “Life’s Stories.” The subtitle of her article states: “How you arrange the plot points of your life into narrative shapes who you are and is a fundamental part of being human.” 

Beck quoted Monisha Pasupathi, a professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah, saying: “To have relationships, we’ve all had to tell little pieces of our story.” This means we have to know our own story; as our perspective changes, we change, and the story changes.

If the essence of accepting yourself is to know your own life story, then the question is, what is the story? Author Bill George suggests building a timeline of your life that includes the highs and lows, reflecting on it daily. A summary of your life brings you to where you are today, and a timeline points out when things happened of significant influence, representing forks in the road. The more recent events in the story often help you see the prior ones differently.

Our narrative and perspective are choices, and how we look at the events and people in our lives changes as those memories are filtered against other events and all of our memories. A lesson we learn from an event today can help us see what happened before differently. Connecting events and concluding is weaving together our life stories and defining who we are. Who we think we are is related to who we become.

A daily journal captures the events of our lives, and a summary of the journal offers some opportunities for conclusion. Reviewing a written life story yearly will show how we see our past changes because our perspective makes a great deal of difference in what we think our history was. Save your personal story, rewrite it as you see it differently, and save that too.

Think about your story each day and tell your story to your family and others, but listen to how you see things have changed and will change.

An Experience at Bosque Del Apache with Expensive Cameras to Capture a Single Moment

by Brent M. Jones

The Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge is about two hours south of Albuquerque, New Mexico. You drive to Socorro and another 11 miles to San Antonio, where an 8-mile loop road follows the Rio Grande River and the refuge. 

"Woods of the Apache" means "The Bosque Del Apache.” "Bosque" is a word borrowed from Spanish, meaning the forest or woods, referring to the habitat found on both sides of the Rio Grande River.

Over 350 bird species have been observed in the Bosque del Apache, where vast flocks of wintering cranes and geese are the refuge's most exciting feature.

The Sand Hill Cranes are large tall birds with long legs and necks. They pair up for life and usually have one or two chicks. These birds migrate from Canada, Montana, and Utah in the winter, and they will fly a chick South for the winter to teach them the way and encourage the offspring to be independent.

November to late February is the best time to see large numbers of birds in the Bosque del Apache when typically over 10,000 Sandhill Cranes and 20,000 Ross's and Snow Geese can be seen. Sunrise and sunset is the best time to see the bird while they roost in the refuge before leaving in the morning to feed or after returning from the fields in the evening.

We spent a couple of days at this refuge a few years ago in the late fall. We had been told by a friend to watch the birds in the morning after sitting overnight roosting on the water and waiting for when the first ones take off. When the rest then all at once follow the sky fills and that is the time for the best pictures.

We were excited and hoped to see them all get up into the air at once, but it turned out that the birds flew in several groups, not just one.

The road edge near the roosting birds was lined with people holding big cameras with huge, expensive, telescopic lenses. Plenty of tripods topped with Nikon and Canon cameras where the lens alone can cost between $2500 and $12,000, and even more line the nearby road with professional bird watchers. Some had camouflage pants and jackets. 

Like birds, the people would move in groups up and down the road. One guy would break first from the group, and then it seemed like all the others would follow.  

We did see some people, amateurs, and first-timers, just watching, like we were doing, so we found our way into their little groups. We folks with the smaller lens, and even just with iPhones, just didn't fit in, and some walked around alone to not be embarrassed.

It was mostly the men that had the "big" lens with extensions and tripods. It also seemed like the women appeared much later and stood in their groups. 

We were one of the first on-site at "The Bosque Del Apache" that special fall day, arriving early morning before the sun rose. When the light broke, it was amazing to see how many birds were there. 

The birds, the professional photographers, and all those watching were a treat. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Just Wasn't My Time as it Turned Out

By Brent M. Jones

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I had five trips to the hospital for a heart attack between 2009 and 2016. Two trips were false alarms, but I still made it to the operating table 4 times.

The first trip was a complete surprise. I got up and started getting ready for work. The week before, I had been in a group of volunteers that worked with older people, and we were given instructions on heart attack symptoms. I had acute pain in the middle of my chest, the inside of my arm hurt, I felt nausea, and just dizzy overall. I had made it downstairs and was sitting in the kitchen and just wasn’t sure what was happening, so I said a little prayer and asked if I had a heart attack and if perhaps I could recognize another symptom. I felt a cold sweat within a few minutes, so I went upstairs, told my wife, and got into bed.  

The surprise of all this started to sink in when 8 EMTs arrived in my bedroom, lifting me onto a stretcher and carrying me to the ambulance.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how surprising it was that I had had a heart attack.  Laying on the stretcher, I looked up at the lady EMT leaning over and taking care of me and said, “I just don’t understand why this is happening; I have run 13 marathons in my lifetime?” She looked down at me and said, “Maybe it is just your time.”  I didn’t laugh at the time.

Being wheeled into an operating room is frightening. They slide you onto a cold stainless-steel table where you lay, almost naked, in the middle of the table. The room has many people, all seeming to be doing something important. The staff was young, professional, and engaged in some good-natured banter.

On my last trip to the cold steel table, the first thing that caught my attention was that the music seemed to be a little loud. By this time, I had my heart doctor, but he was not on-site, and when I met the doctor, it seemed like he was so young he could have been my grandson. Everyone was very busy, and I just lay waiting for drip anesthesia to be set up. From the comments and the volume, it seemed clear that all those young folks walking around were enjoying the music in the background, but at least they weren’t staring at my naked and cold body. A young man came over and said he would get the anesthesia set up soon, a good thing I thought, but he wondered if I had some favorite music saying he would find it and play it. Well, I still had my thoughts in place, so I suggested Leonard Cohen, figuring it was a long shot. Not one person in the room had heard of him, nor could they find any of his music even though they made an effort to see him. I thought it was funny and might have chuckled, but I was out soon after that.

My last trip to the hospital was one where they again picked me up with the ambulance. The ambulance sat in our driveway in front of the house after I had been in for a while. A fire engine crew and a support car team were on-site with us, and several paramedics regularly checked the back of the ambulance; they would greet me and ask how I was doing.  One of these guys seemed to have paused for a few minutes, so I looked up at him and told him I still remembered getting help like this the first time I had a heart attack telling him about the question and the reply I got from the EMT nurse about it “being my time.” Neither of the two paramedics said a word or even changed facial expressions.  They just seemed like they had kicked into gear and were about some important business. I noticed that the one paramedic left the back door ajar as he left, I saw him go over to a group standing by the fire engine where they seemed to huddle and laugh, and then he went to a different group. I figure this was a good sign. The last heat attack event had a connection to the first. It still wasn’t my time.

 

Rust is a Passionate Color

By Brent M. Jones

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Rust is a passionate color, rich with warm-orange, brick-red, mustard-yellow and the combinations seem to be endless as one’s emotions are stimulated when fond memories come front and center. Rust lets us know that an old and perhaps otherwise worthless car, has a history and a story to share if your willing to listen.

When a really great restored old car is found you may find yourself thinking, "Wow, that car is so cool, that era was so cool." As you caress the car with your eyes the remembering "back in the days" floods your memories and sends you back in time. When you see the same type of car all rusted out you still may think of the time and place, but your thoughts will be deeper and perhaps longing with nostalgia.

The car seems to be still be alive, if only in the remembering. Will a rusted 55 Chevy take you back in to that time any faster than a restored one? The restored one may take you back to a particular car and time but perhaps the rusted version leaves your mind open to looking deeper.

The rusted-out car doesn't smell new. The doors (if they work at all) sound different if they close. The surface of rust may break and crumble if you rub your hands over it. Is it really a car or is it a spirit of a car?

The spirit of the car brings back feelings, memories and emotions and allows for that moment in time to transfer to the "now."

Rust is beautiful. Rust is the color of timelessness.Rust is a passionate color, rich with warm-orange, brick-red, mustard-yellow and the combinations seem to be endless as ones emotions are stimulated when fond memories come front and center. Rust let's us know that an  old and perhaps otherwise worthless car, has a history and a story to share if your willing to listen. 

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Thoughts about the Painting Nighthawks by Edward Hopper

By Brent M. Jones

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"Nighthawks, a 1942 oil on canvas painting, was inspired by Hemingway's short story 'The Killers,' which Hopper read in Scribner's magazine. Edward Hopper is considered by some the most critical realist painter of the 20th century in America. Even so, is vision was selective and reflected his temperament

The painting, Nighthawks, tells its own story of loneliness. 

The diner is a stand-alone building with long front windows with rounded corners on the glass, giving the glass a thicker and more confining look. It is late at night, and the streets and other buildings look empty with their darkened windows, even more than just closed.

Silence seems to be part of the painting's message and is reflected inside and out of the diner.  The diner has no visible doors and thick glass which suggest that those inside are trapped. Unsettling are the yellow, faded and peeling walls.  The use of green outside on the reflected walk and around the window suggest unnatural light. Pale green fades to dark green near the buildings and confirms that the building is alone and that the people are isolated. The people inside the diner are not talking and they are not looking at each other. 

Most of Hoppers paintings are about how loneliness feels.  Loneliness connects to depression and anxiety, both things that Hopper suffered from.  Just being alone is not loneliness but having no connection with others is.  

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Hopper, a tall lonely man, said that he declared himself in his paintings. In the diner tall men in suits bend over, but still look tall.

Being alone in a city is something we all can relate to. Those feelings are captured and used by the author of this book, "The Lonely City, Adventures in the Art of Being Alone, by Olivia Laing" (see review).  

The book starts out saying: "Imagine standing by a window at night, on the sixth or seventeenth or forty-third floor of a building". The book also mentions this painting and author to explain the feeling.

See the Review of Olivia Laing’s The Lonely City click here

I have experienced that feeling 30 floors up, at night in a hotel room. When I looked out the window I could see all the other tall buildings and the lights in their windows and could see people in the closer windows. You knew you were surrounded with people but you had no connection with any of them. You were alone.

 

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Entering the Universe on the Pipeline Trail

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John Muir said, “The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” Muir's writings often expressed his love of nature and inspired people to protect wild places. He believed that humans were a small part of nature and that wild spaces should be preserved for everyone to enjoy.

The picture above is one I took a few years ago. The trail's name is the "Pipeline," which clarifies Muir's statement. It runs from the top of Grandeur Peak, where you can look West and see the Salt Lake Valley below, and then on the East, to near the top of the Millcreek Canyon, where you can see Park City if you know where to look. 

My preferred way to enter this trail is at Rattlesnake Gulch. I drive up the canyon, not too far past the entrance booth, to a parking area where the Rattlesnake Gulch trail begins. It goes up the side of the mountain, gains about 600 feet in elevation, and is about 0.8 miles up to when you can get on the Pipeline Trail. You can then head east to the left to Grandeur or west to the right to Church Fork.

I tried to run that trail as often as possible for many years, and I have run both in winter and summer. I look forward to following it. The trail is hardly a wilderness. It is, however, the first step out of our day-to-day world into a place where nature’s natural order surrounds you.

This trail was less than 4 miles from where I lived, and I was always in awe of how different I felt when I left the day-to-day world for this special place. 

I often saw snakes jumping over them as they stretched across the trail. I saw bobcats and deer and heard larger animals back in the brush.

I have read a book about wolves and their lives after being reintroduced into Yellowstone Park. It shows that the balance between the Elk and the Wolves is accurate, and changes in the balance have consequences.

The wilderness and its balance point the way to understanding much more. Even more about the universe itself, as Muir said. 

I loved my years running on the Pipeline Trail.  I have run it both winter and summer. I look forward to following and at least walking it again. 

 

A Thanksgiving Story

by Brent M. Jones

Each Thanksgiving, I get excited. Sometimes I think back to 1957 to a special Thanksgiving day and dinner. My sister was born that year on Tuesday the 26th of November, two days before the holiday.  My mother and new sister were, of course, still in the hospital, and my father, brother, and I had to figure out what to do for a meal on Thanksgiving Day, and I was worried.

This story of that day is one that I have told, over and over again, for the last 60+ years. Looking back at the event, this year seems different, and it occurs to me that I have been in a rut. For too long, the story has just been focused on our special Thanksgiving meal. I have been missing the bigger picture. I should have seen how repetitious my account had become.

Oral histories have been a common way families have passed on their life stories. My father gave his history and much of his extended family’s stories this way. He never could seem to remember that he had told us the stories before. Later in his life, I just reached a point where I felt it was important to listen to him, so I didn't say anything and just listened.

Looking back now, I realize that his repetition imprinted those stories into my memory. So why I have retold the Thanksgiving story of 1957 so many times to my sister is something I really can't explain? 

It was Thanksgiving that year, and after some concern, I learned that a neighbor had invited us guys over for dinner. Even then, I wondered why our Aunts, uncles, or even Grandparents didn't ask us?  Maybe they did, and maybe my dad thought it would be easier to go almost next door rather than across town. I remember worrying about the dinner. At 11 years old, I thought having a sister was fine, but I have always remembered how much I had looked forward to turkey day.

When the time for the big meal came, I remember that we were at the neighbors all sitting around the living room table. We waited at the table for what seemed like a long time.  The table didn't seem like the Thanksgiving day dinners I was used to. I figured that when the turkey arrived, it would make it all good.  Our neighbor, Mrs. Zelner, announced that it was ready and coming. She carried the main course on a large silver tray with a silver dome cover. I had never seen a large silver serving tray with a body like this, which seemed exciting. She had left the center of the table open with a place to put the special silver tray and carefully set it down.

She stood up, and I wondered if she would carve the turkey first, but she just reached for the silver dome lid. It seemed like she was building up to the big moment; I know I was, and then she lifted the dome. The tray was stacked high and full of hamburgers.

Yes, I was disappointed and a little shell-shocked. The rest of the dinner seems like a blur as I try to recall it. I know I was crushed. I was enough to repeat this story repeatedly, primarily to my sister Trudy over many years. I guess I figured I was passing on my oral tradition memories to her. I knew I had told her the story before, so I wasn't just retelling it because I couldn't remember. Maybe I have always been trying to get over it. 

Since then, every Thanksgiving dinner has been spent with family.  In the case of my wife's parents, those dinners were also finished with a day of football. 

One year we found ourselves alone in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Each of our now-grown children and their spouses had other plans. A member of our church who knew we would be alone invited us over for dinner. At that time, it seemed to hit me how nice it was to have someone do that.  Thinking of others is important; perhaps you notice it more when you’re on the receiving end.

I have realized that I had much to be thankful for so many years ago. A new sister, overlooked at the time, was a neighbor who wanted to help. 

Thanksgiving 

MY STORY: AS LISTED UNDER AUTHOR

By Brent M. Jones

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I am a reader, writer, author, listener, and seeker of knowledge. I ponder books, art, authors, music, poetry, service, kindness, and most of all, "people." These influences help us form our identity, change it, or even reinvent it as we go through life.    

I have spent my career as an entrepreneur and a business executive, working with companies and employee groups of various sizes, some large ones. I successfully built my own company from an idea to a functioning business. For 22 years, it was a strong sales company covering 15 Western States and helping hundreds of companies grow their business. 

As an employed top manager, I helped build several independent and corporate companies and helped bring about significant progress in their growth.  The people always made a difference in results and made my efforts rewarding. Those years presented me with some excellent teaching and learning opportunities. They confirmed my belief that people can reshape themselves as they rethink their actions and lives. People want to learn. They are not just programmed to be what they always have been and will grow and rise according to their opportunities.


This website, “Connected Events Matter,” is an effort to explore the influences from our lifetime connections and how they change and impact our development and identity.  The impact is ongoing and is always life-altering.  

We have both a physical and spiritual self-image.  We have our intellectual growth. As we look at our experiences and grow with them, we give purpose to our lives.

Reading and the Arts have a significant influence on our growth. This blog will look closely at these influences and present relevant book reviews. The events in our lives connect us, and we are connected. 

 

Be passionate about improving. Be passionate about helping others. Listen to your feelings.